


100 Mistakes

by demayo



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, HIATUS fix, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Multi, Other, Romance, Slow Burn, Wandi, its3amimready, jyrus - Freeform, making this a chapter fic, slight ambi, whattotagrip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-05-18 02:18:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14843733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demayo/pseuds/demayo
Summary: From the moment Cyrus Goodman started helping Jonah Beck cope with anxiety, Jonah has been acting very weird around their clique lately. And Cyrus can’t help but think it’s because Jonah doesn’t want to be friends with the ‘GoodHairCrew’ anymore.





	1. The Answer?

**Author's Note:**

> My little contribution to Jyrus and the Andi Mack hiatus /GAY SCREAMING/ first time posting in forever, so chaps will be slow probably but I'll do my best.  
> ( UPDATE; I wrote this a WHILE ago, but now the hiatus is over I might change my future chapters after I watch the newer episodes.  
> ORNOT depending on how I feel abt it ! Enjoy. )

This was it.

Jonah had to do this. It was the only way things would go back to normal again, Jonah convinced himself--  


The only way he’d _feel_ normal again.

He rushed his way to the Mack’s residence with little energy he had left gathered from Cyrus’ Bar-Mitzvah, adrenaline carrying him there stopping completely to halt at Andi’s steps.  
Jonah contemplated when and how he should knock considering the hour and how his hands rattled with nerves. 

Forgetting when his knuckles tapped the face of the door or how many times he had, the door stretched open, Andi peeking out from the inside.

_What in the world was Jonah doing here, so late?_

The duo greeted eachother like awkward strangers meeting for the first time struggling to create small talk. But as their conversation progressed, Jonah surprised Andi with a _VERY_ scary question at her doorstep.

Something Andi never thought Jonah Beck was capable of or even KNEW how saying.

 

_I want to be your boyfriend_

 

It threw her off guard, stumbling in place. But Jonah didn’t stop there, scaring Andi even more--

 

“And...I want you to be my girlfriend. I’m ready now.”

 

 _‘Ready?’_ Andi repeated in the safety of her head. 

Why had it taken Jonah so long? 

If Jonah really loved her, wouldn’t Jonah have been ready from the start?..Like Andi was?  


She bit her lip, cast at sea by the idea of taking Jonah back and letting him in again. Free to reign her thoughts and her reawakened, carefree lifestyle.

“..Um.” Andi shrinked, searching for an answer while Jonah poured out his heart to her in the middle of night. But she just couldn’t find one. The proposal too early, too soon for her to decide a right decision from a wrong one.

Jonah swallowed hard.

 _“U-Um?”_ He mimicked, fearing the silence harshly surrounding them, nothing now but the carols of noisy cicadas.

Did Andi really get over him that fast? Was it that easy to let him go?

“Yeah. I.. I don't know.” Andi’s glance searched everywhere but Jonah. On the fence about the entire situation.  
Scared, in a whole other way than Jonah could possibly be.

Pressured to make the RIGHT decision this instant, right now or she was doomed to a life of possible regrets--breaking someone else's heart out of some silly misunderstanding Andi might have made.

“Don't you care about me?”

Jonah inquired earnestly, desperate for Andi to answer; the wait growing more excruciating as she took her time to reflect upon Jonah's confession.

Andi lowered her gaze to the floor. “I do. But this is all so..out of nowhere. After everything I said--I can't just take it all back?”  


That would make her look like some sort of liar. Or even worse.. a pushover. Andi would like to believe she had some sort of backbone even at her age.

“I get it. It's about this ' _new friend.'_ Right..?” Jonah shot back, jealousy rising quickly to the surface unknowingly. 

_New friend_

Jonah must have meant Walker.

Wow, Jonah couldn't be this dense when it came to how Andi felt. Of course it had nothing to do with Walker! This was all because of Jonah.

Everything that happened was because of Jonah Beck.

The bracelet.. the labels..  


The time she put into planning out dates for them, the many times he forgot or cancelled out for someone, or something else!

This was a _ **Jonah**_ problem.

It had nothing to do with her, ‘new friend’

“Wrong. I mean..this isn't about, _him!_ ” Andi sighed, exasperated.

“I just need some time. This is all happening.. _waaay_ too fast for my brain to even begin to process and I don't know if I can keep up..!”

“I'm sorry.” Jonah whispered under his breath, guilt festering inside him.

He didn’t mean to make Andi upset. He didn’t mean to do a lot of things--every time, messing up. He didn’t want to mess this up. He couldn't.

“Don't be.” Andi replied swift as possible, doing her best to cheer Jonah up and bring his attention back to her instead of his feet. Shaking her head and waving hands apologetically.

“Listen Jonah, I'll give this another shot. But.. I do need some time alone.”

Jonah lit up, positively. He couldn’t waste this chance. He had to make things _‘right’_ again.  


“O-Okay. I can do that.” Jonah nodded weakly, not fully accepting of the idea, but not opposed to it either. 

Seizing any opportunity to fix whatever he had done to make Andi leave him from the start.

“I can't say when. But.. I'll let you know when I'm ready to talk.” Andi continued where she trailed off, choosing each word carefully. Distracted by Jonah’s emerald eyes, flickering with sadness.

“Okay. So..talk to you later?”

He forced a smile, unable to remain still. Frowning at the idea of walking home alone now that it was time to depart.

Andi paced back sluggishly edging towards the door with a hand on the handle. “Um..I'll let you know.”

“ _Oh_..right!” He shouted low to himself, clearing his throat. 

Simultaneously treading backwards opposite direction, Jonah fidgeted with his phone checking the time. Just about brushing past 11pm. Finally looking up to Andi, preparing himself to leave. “Bye..A-Andi."

Andi smiled single-sided from the crack of the door, curving her brows. “Goodnight Jonah.”

Andi faintly departed, before quietly returning inside her home. There’s no way Bex wasn’t going to ask Andi about this.. How was she going to get any sleep tonight?--There’s so many questions running through her head!

Locking the door, Andi jumped. There was a voice that rumbled from the kitchen, Andi wincing her face--

It was _Bex_

 _“_ Did you see that?...!”

 

* * *

 

“I wish I hadn't..“ Andi dived back into the couch hugging herself, pulling her legs up close to her chest in a fetal position. Andi was confused, tired and a little hungry--because now was around the time she'd sneak into the kitchen late at night for a yummy snack.

“Why not?" Bex scurried back to the living room, climbing on the couch next to Andi. "Jonah is starting to realize how much you mean to him. Didn't you want that?”

Andi mumbled into a few pillows on the couch. “No, mom. I was finally starting to become Anne Hathaway, and now that I HAVE, I don't know what to do about it!” Andi stressed.

Leaning forward to have a better look at her daughter, Bex frowned. “Andi..”

“This is all my fault--" Andi confessed clearly.

"--I shouldn't have broke up with him. If I’ve just waited a little longer, maybe...maybe he would have said I was his girlfriend eventually!”

“How is this your fault? For speaking up how you feel?” Bex countered back, offering Andi some reason.

Andi just sniffled, wishing she had an answer to this problem. The right answer. Heart, complicating things further than it should have.

“Sometimes.. I feel like I shouldn't say anything at all..” 

“But you did..and the worst part is over!" Bex fought optimistically, holding a strong smile.

Andi groaned, sitting up. “No, the worst part isn’t over! I still don’t know what to do.” She tiredly complained.

Bex arched a single brow, smile permanent. “I got an idea.”

“What?”

Bex retreated from the couch, slapping her hands on both sides of her waist. “Wanna help me make some smores??”

Trying to hold back the smile pushing past her sadness, Andi failed miserably. Erupting in a series of laughter. “Would I! That sounds AMAZING right now.”

Bex extended a hand, pulling Andi off the couch and onto her toes, cheering."Aw, yeah! Our secret though, right? I wanna have a fat morning tomorrow and Mom wouldn't let me hear the end of it."

"Fat morning?" Andi inquired, glance veered comically toward Bex.

"Yeah! Sleep in. Duh!" Bex exaggerated, as if it was something everyone in the world should know. Andi laughed again at that, shoving her face up to Bex's side. Both of them hugging eachother as they excitedly skipped their way to the kitchen.

 

X


	2. Not Sure If Im Sure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonah tries to win back Andi's affection with a little help from some outside sources. Andi confronts Cyrus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTES: #Taking care of my Jyrus fix #stressisreal

Closing her sportsy decorated locker, Buffy searched Cyrus’ face studying the tenseness, overwhelming his expression.

Cyrus only made those faces every so often, and ninety percent of the time it was when Cyrus was ready to prank their crew with something rather witty and spontaneous.

Squinting intently at his phone, Buffy’s curiosity built up into a tower of inquiry as she wondered who Cyrus’s mysterious texting buddy could be.

Causing her friend to knit his brows tight in concentration--as if Cyrus just read something bizarre out of a local tabloid.

“Cyrus, you ok?--You've been staring at your phone like its about to attack you any minute.” Buffy asked, ready for Cyrus to drop the act and conjure some silly remark.

Abandoning his locker the tiny metallic door hung open, Cyrus’s belongings exposed for all to see. His focus remained strictly on the phone’s dim-lit screen, spell-bound by its magic. Typing up an instant reply to whoever he was sending messages to.

“It is! I.. got a text from TJ.” Cyrus sighed out loud before shifting on his heels to face Buffy.

“And..he wants to talk to you.”

Buffy's face went sour.

TJ was texting Cyrus..

..about her?

She scoffed, chest deflating. Buffy didn't care about the jock enough to question what TJ even wanted.

Her concern, tripled over moving and leaving her friends behind--the ones who ACTUALLY cared about her--which was much larger in comparison to TJ possibly gossiping about Buffy.

“Who?” Buffy feigned sarcastically.

“Not-So-Scary-Basket-Ball-Guy?”

Cyrus repeated back slowly, using full exaggerated air quotes ultimately shutting his locker before he'd forget.

“Sorry, doesn't ring a bell.” Buffy remained detached. She wasn’t going to associate herself with a, _past-bully's_ name, shrugging it off.

But Buffy wasn’t fooling Cyrus. Not even close.

It’s not like they haven’t been friends for years, or anything.

“Buffy. He's _changed._ ”

Cyrus pleaded folding hands around his phone, squeezing the device sandwiched between his grip. Using the all-famous puppy-dog technique with big brown warm eyes and a pouting lip, imploring his most beloved friend to listen.

Buffy merely snorted, catching herself smiling from how cutely ridiculous her friend was being. And if Cyrus hadn't already worn out this strategy enough with Andi, it just _might_ have worked on Buffy Driscoll.

“Common Cyrus. You really don't see it?” Buffy's head drooped to a side skeptically.

“TJ. He's lied to me, probably you too. He can't be trusted.”

“But he’s apologized for that and--”

Buffy interceded, reminding Cyrus who they were _actually_ speaking about. Clasping both hands together.

Because this didn't sound like the TJ Buffy Driscoll knew.

“Two sorrys don't make up for a whole future of butt-head behavior.” Buffy finished, nearly huffing out her reply.

It was last period and all of Jefferson Middle’s students prepared to journey to their final destination of the day.

The trio would meet after the end of each period, discussing their plans for the late afternoon when school was declared over. But Andi was nowhere to be found, and for a minute Buffy was playing a game of, _Where’s Waldo?_ trying to figure out where Andi was through Jefferson Middle’s busy corridor while her and Cyrus had a friendly debate over her not-so-favorite-guy, TJ.

After a few minutes the bell's signal went off and the congested hallway cleared up. Buffy and Cyrus were no longer able to lurk around, so they opted to leave early seeing as they hadn't gotten a text or notification from Andi. Which was unusual--Andi's phone was like her secondhand virtual journal in a way, texting becoming Andi's second hobby.

On their short voyage down together, Buffy's game of Where's Waldo came to an end as Andi brisk past her and Cyrus--face riddled with distraught.

She stuffed her locker with the many papers and supplies from her bag, closing and leaning her forehead on the cool front of it before exhaling.

Cyrus leaped, 

"Andi!"

Excited to see his tardy friend made it to them, despite being it being over-the-clock. He really thought Andi was stuck in class for good! Or..somehow bagged a detention. Either or. Andi was unpredictable at times, Cyrus admitted inside.

“You're late.” Buffy brushed aside all greetings, instantly catching on to Andi's stressed demeanor. The dark sleep circles under her eyes being one of the many dead giveaways.

Thumping her forehead on her locker, Andi snapped herself awake. “Sorry, sorry. Long night. What's up?”

Hiking their way back to class in sync, Andi circled Buffy and Cyrus until she was shoulder to shoulder with the two, smacked in the middle.

Cyrus wasn't late to follow up with Buffy's worry, already ahead of lunging another question.

“Oh, no. You're looking like the sky today. What's got you so blue?” Cyrus optimistically worked to uplift Andi’s spirit.

“Yeah, are you okay?” Buffy added, equally concerned. Fearing she was starting to sound like an overbearing mom, as her role as _'mom'_ friend became more and more apparent.

Andi bowed her head, dosing in and out from lack of sleep.

Okay was not on the list of things Andi felt.

Mind wrapped in a present of confusion and conflicting thoughts since Jonah showed up at her house last night.

Eventually, she would need to ask Buffy for advice. But right now..Andi was more worried about what Cyrus would say. How he’d _feel._ What he'd think.

“No. Nope. Not really! And I don't know if you guys are ready to hear it.” Andi explained, alert now that she was center of their attention.

“Whaaat? We're ready! They don't call us the, PrepSquad for nothing.”

“Cyrus, no one calls us that. Absolutely, zero.”

“Pssht, yeah. Not yet anyway. It's the next IT handle on my petition. Just like TeamAndi and the GoodHairCrew. Gotta keep up to date with the status quo.”

“Right.” Buffy snorted. “Anyway, we're ready Andi. We're here for you.”

Cyrus nodded along with the statement. “At your service.” Wrapping an arm around the left of Andi's shoulder.

Andi opened her mouth, without any words. Tongue tied, glance traveling over to Buffy, before pausing to remain on Cyrus. His smile gentle, and honest. Patiently waiting for her to reply.

No, way Andi was about to do this. Where would she even start? She was just tired. Yeah, she'd tell them that. It wasn't lying after all, if it was partially close to the truth! Right?

_"I-I.."_

Buffy sucked her teeth, cutting Andi short to address the sound of trampling footsteps rushing up behind them.

"Incoming--We might be in trouble." She announced, without turning.

Cyrus broke eye contact with Andi, turning a cheek to adjust his field of view from infront, to behind them.

Eyes going wide as dinner plates, Cyrus recognized the person jogging over approaching them. Pacing next to Cyrus, and immersing himself within the group greeting the gang casually.

“Hey, guys! Did I scare you?”

Jonah gasped, leveling his breath with a paper gift bag in hand.

He was searching everywhere in Jefferson for Andi--it was almost as if she was trying hard to avoid him. _Nah, that can't be. That wasn't Andi. Was it?_

Cyrus bumped shoulders with Jonah, warmly welcoming him to their long stroll down the empty halls.

“Can't scare me, Jonah-brah!“

Jonah playfully punched Cyrus, acknowledging him and flashing him a wide grin before disconnecting himself from group again to stand infront of their path.

Focus set now directly on Andi, capturing the GoodHairCrew's immense attention.

"Hey." Andi replied to Jonah as well, unenthusiastic.

Andi was practically running away from Jonah all day at school, costing her some time away from Buffy and Cyrus as if they were Andi magnets, (which they were). Jonah refused to give her some space, going to lengths ends to contact her.

Everything about Jonah to Andi, just didn't feel right, right now.

“Can we talk?”

Jonah started, concealing the white gift bag behind him, fingers clutching and wrinkling the paper.

“I was hoping to ask Andi--I mean. My girlfriend something.”

 _ **“Girlfriend!?”**_

Cyrus and Buffy shouted the label abruptly, echoing it back.

"Yeah?" Jonah side-glanced Buffy and Cyrus, addled by their reaction. Unsure if he should laugh, resorting to cracking a smile.

Buffy and Cyrus stared at each other, before taking a glimpse at Andi.

Cyrus must have not heard it right.

Andi, officially Jonah Beck’s..girlfriend?

RIGHT after that conversation they had, one-on-one at his bar-mitzvah? But Jonah had been so sure--so stubborn about his dislike about the thing he called,

_Labels_

The all forbidden word Jonah didn’t like to say or use.

Cyrus blinked, registering everything that's happened within the last minute. Except.. he couldn't think straight--Spinning around to face Andi for clarification, Andi appearing just as puzzled as Cyrus is.

“Can it wait after school?”

Andi asked, sounding more like a demand than an actual request.

Ignoring her friends initial reaction, as if the girlfriend label was nothing special.

_Wasn’t it supposed to be though?.._

She asked herself. Maybe it would be, if she gave it a day or two. But the more Jonah kept chasing after Andi's attention, Andi gradually discovered she was more content without him.

“Uh--” He wasn't prepared for that kind of response. Peering over at Buffy, before locking desperate eyes with Cyrus.

Almost as if Jonah was expecting Cyrus to do or say something to help him out--with, whatever that was. Tracing Cyrus’s soft features, Jonah felt his shoulders sink down again.Realizing he must have been starting longer at Cyrus than he intended, coming back to reality and blinking rapidly. Jonah’s cheeks, warmed up.

_It ‘s not summer without any heat, Jonah guessed._

“Sure--Yeah. N-No problem. See you after school.” Flustered, Jonah fled the scene leaping ahead. Leaving the GoodHairCrew to themselves, bewildered.

Buffy captured Andi’s shoulder, stepping closer to whisper a distance from Cyrus.

_“Girlfriend??”_

“When did this happen?” Buffy continued, trying not to stray too far from the topic.

“Yesterday..Long story.”

Buffy inspected Cyrus. The corners of his mouth sinking. _Breathe,_ Cyrus would tell himself. But the room was closing in on him fast, and his next class was about to start. Holding a hand up to his temple, blinding his view.

“I think I just got a bramp..” He stared off, speaking fragile.

Andi poked her head up, curious. “What’s a bramp?”

“Brain cramp.”

Buffy held Andi’s hand. Tipping her head over to Cyrus.

Now that Andi and Cyrus both knew they liked the same guy, the Jonah Beck drama was in their hands. Andi had to do this on her own.

Andi kicked herself internally. Buffy really wanted her to do this on her own, didn’t she?--It was fair to say, Andi had gotten herself into this mess. Now it was her responsibility to tell Cyrus, her and Jonah were still a thing.

Andi took a deep breath, wincing apologetically. Shuffling up to Cyrus alone.

“Cyrus.”

Andi kicked off, heart in throat. Declaring her friend’s name in the most remorseful tone. “Me and Jonah.. are sorta. Kinda..back together.”

Cyrus was too shocked to develop any noticeable reaction. Merely opening his mouth pressing finger to his lips, unable to furnish a sufficient response.

He confessed to Andi, how he felt toward Jonah, hadn't he? How long had Andi planned to hide this from Cyrus? It hurt him more, realizing she was unwilling to confide in him sooner. But considering from Buffy’s reaction, she hadn’t known either.

Even if Andi and Jonah were together, Cyrus wanted Andi to trust him, no matter what. that didn’t mean he hadn’t supported HER.

_This isn’t about me._

Cyrus reminded, chanting internally to himself

_This was never about me._

Andi frowned, wishing Cyrus would say something.

Anything!

Now that Andi knew Cyrus had feelings for Jonah, this was a lot harder than she expected.

Andi just wanted to be as honest with Cyrus, as he had been with her.

But right now Andi wasn't sure she wanted to be honest with how she's been feeling lately.

Buffy to the right of her, also analyzing Cyrus, leaning forward with chin in hand. Both girls looking on in anticipation for their silent friend’s repsponse.

Cyrus closed his eyes, starting off slow. “Are you happy?” He muttered, smiling dimly.

Now it was Andi’s turn to think.

..Was she happy?

“I think.”

“You think?” Buffy parroted.

“I think I..don’t think so.”

Andi completed her statement.

Cyrus took Andi’s hands into his own, sadly gazing into his best friend. If this was about hurting his feelings, Cyrus didn’t want Andi to be shy about it.

“Andi..it’s okay to be honest with me.”

“I am, Cyrus. And. I will always be.”

Confidentially nodding, Andi flinched. The school’s intercom system reporting them back to their class room. Time must have snuck past them as they engaged in the moment. Squeezing Cyrus hands tightly before letting go.

“We should get going. It’s about that time.” Andi interjected their honesty session, brushing a lock of hair from her face.

“I’ll see you guys later”

“Texting you after school!” Buffy yelled, walking beside Cyrus and pulling him close to her hip. “See you.” Cyrus replied softly to himself, mind lost somewhere in outer space. Robotically following along, stuck in the moment he shared with Andi.

He hoped to God Andi was being honest. Cyrus didn’t want his relationship with Andi to slowly change--wanting nothing more than for Andi to be able to go to him for anything, any advice or any problem she had--

What good was Cyrus if he couldn’t be a shoulder for her to lean on?

Cyrus rested his head on Buffy, the one shoulder that would be moving out of town soon. And no matter what was happening with Cyrus and Andi, they were still the GoodHairCrew.

_This isn’t about me._

Cyrus said again, becoming a mantra

_This was about Buffy and Andi._

X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTES: Un-beta'd, I checked as much as I could. So if there are any errors, I do apologize (Call me out if you want for any errors, I'll appreciate it! <3). I'm not pleased with this chapter, but I want to pick up the story so I can write the fun parts instead. LOL.
> 
> JyrusSongRec#2: Fix You/Vicetone


	3. I Wish We Could Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Jonah didn't want Cyrus to know. Jonah didn't want Cyrus to believe he wasn't _normal_. Cyrus was the only friend he had, that accepted Jonah this far just as he was._

Everything was back to normal, just like Jonah wanted; the comfortable kind of normal he craved for. But there was one thing Jonah was missing..something in the back of Jonah’s mind that he couldn’t shake off.

_Andi wanted space._

But What did that mean?--Jonah wasn't sure, but whatever it meant it didn’t make him feel any better. He had to convince Andi to talk to him, to care again, the way she cared _before_ Cyrus' Bar-Mitzvah.

Which is why today was the day Jonah was going to buy Andi a gift, linking up with someone who already achieved giving Andi the perfect present before him.

“Thanks for meeting up with me. This is important.” It was a slow day at the Spoon since it was near closing, the day winding down into the afternoon and the sky darkening. Which is why Jonah was the sole customer standing at the front. Folding arms on the edge of the counter, green sleeves rolled up.

The girl stepped out from behind the dirty ledge waxing it down with sanitized wipes.

“You're welcome, I didn't come here for you though--" Amber untied her pigtail, flipping locks until they relaxed down her shoulders in a cascade of gold satin. "I kinda work here.” Dusting down her uniform and flattening the skirt with her palms, a cheap smile laid out on Amber's features.

“You needed help choosing a gift for Andi?” She asked, intrigued by the thought of it.

“Y-Yeah. I have no clue what to get her.” Jonah caught his lower lip, his gaze acute as he watched Amber and fiddling with his fingers.

He felt ridiculous asking his ex-girlfriend for anything--It was obvious she was still bitter how things ended between them. But Jonah had no other option. Even considering seeking Bex for help, but that was something Jonah couldn't muster up enough courage for.

Seating himself at an empty booth, Jonah's hands folded. “You know what she might like?”

Amber gasped. Oh, god. He couldn’t be serious--But Jonah was indeed serious. Looking on, clueless as a lost tourist. Rolling her eyes in the most dramatic way possible, Amber shook her head in a berating fashion.

Middle-schoolers. What would Jonah do without her?

“Tsk tsk, you dated her long enough. Shouldn't you know by now?” Her tone, flat and obvious.

“I guess. “ Jonah mumbles incoherently, focus on his hands loosely knit together.

It couldn't have been _that long._ Sure, Andi made Jonah stuff but she never mentioned anything that _she_ liked.

..Not that Jonah could remember.

Maybe Andi liked the same things Jonah did? She always participated..even joined the Space Otters once (even though, Andi said she joined because of Jonah, she did seem like she enjoyed it from his eyes). Breaching his own thoughts for any indication of things Andi could have enjoyed from the past time they spent together as friends. Or rather, boyfriend and girlfriend--as Andi called it.

Amber’s legs crossed. She sat across from Jonah, with a hand over her head. She should know better. This wasn’t Jonah’s strong suite--It was no wonder he employed Amber to assist him with his advances. Amber had a show of that, back when she was dating Jonah when he was actually popular. Now he was just a regular old Middle-Schooler--

Ever since he dumped her, of course. Stripping away any status he had left as a popular kid.

Amber scanned the windows, as if the answer had been clearly written on them in big letters this whole time, as Jonah allowed Amber to figure it out herself, remaining quiet until she spoke. Jolting up and slapping her palms on the table, rattling the contents on it and startling Jonah in the process.

“I think I have an idea.”

Amber's supervisor came out from within the Spoon's kitchen, poking out from behind a wall to inspect the disruption in the quiet of the afternoon. Before he could ask any questions, her supervisor came to a conclusion it was kids being kids and that Jonah was Amber's boyfriend. Returning into the backrooms kitchen after giving Amber and Jonah a thumbs up. Which made Amber and Jonah made a face in unison, neither of which were happy of the concept people thought they were still a _pair_ (even if it was true for about a year).

Minutes later after Amber clocked out and changed uniform, they left the booth. Amber rushing Jonah out of the Spoon, skipping a pace behind him.

 

* * *

 

Neither of the two were talkative, as they were both in an awkward state of not knowing what to say to each other. Exchanging some stale dialogue about the weather and not much else. Amber recognized she indeed hadn't had much in common with Jonah, other than being a girlfriend.

This was the first time Amber had talked to Jonah after Andi stopped coming to the Spoon. And by fates _not-so-funny_ twists, it was because of the girl they both were trying to win back into their lives.

Amber, wanted to rekindle the trust she had with Andi and the GHC---and Jonah...

Jonah didn't want to be Andi's boyfriend. But..he didn't want her dating anyone, either. Jonah couldn't wrap his head around it, himself. What he _did_ know for sure, was that he NEVER wanted to feel _that_ again. Since it happened, Jonah couldn't stop thinking about it. Lifting his head, he opened his mouth to say something to Amber; shutting up these dark thoughts before they grew any larger.

“S-So.." The boy cleared his throat, before starting. "a clothes store?”

Jonah nodded up to the sign palms hugging the pockets of his jeans and reading back: 'The Fringe'--the name sounded familiar. Maybe it was a popular?

Amber brushed her hand over a couple of clothes racks outside the Fringe before stopping next to Jonah.

“Yup. Bought a shirt here for Andi, once. She loved it.” Amber admitted, proudly. As if she was the best giver-of-presents ever. "And thaat was without the help of anyone else." she supplied, as if to salt Jonah's wound. There was a thorn stuck in Jonah's mind, which produced him to frown as he recollected the words Amber once told him: _You don't deserve a girl like her_

_she's right._

_Jonah doesn't deserve Andi--Jonah doesn't deserve anyone._

“Come on, let's pick something out.”

Tugging Jonah, the pair entered the Fringe. Pop music playing in the background while one of the employee's crouched in the back shouted an informal greeting sorting out a shipment of makeup. Amber stalked off, leaving Jonah standing dumbly at the door, lost, like a dog waiting for its owner. Thumbing through some racks, boredly at the same time keeping up with Amber--who already had three shirts in her sights.

“What colors you think Andi likes?”

Jonah picked up a navy blue blouse, holding it up for Amber to examine. "Blue?"

“Wow, you really don’t know, do you?” Amber mocked with a laugh.

 _Hopeless as always. He really hasn’t changed!_ Jonah tried another shirt, this time a forest green like the jacket he was wearing. There was nothing wrong with it, except the fact that Jonah was the one who picked it out.

“Oh my God. Don't pick that up. There's no way she'd ever wear that!”

“What's wrong with it?” Jonah quirked a sorry brow, glancing back to the simplistic shirt--finding no fault in its basic design.

"Everything--" Cramming it back in with the other shirts and selecting a fairly more unattractive one.

"Here, try this."

 

* * *

 

 

Jonah’s parents were well off. Occasionally earning money from his allowance and small house life chores. Stowing it away for simpler things, like hanging out with his friends or buying sports equipment.

Eventually, he'd like to branch off from frisbee--pick up hockey, roller blading and skate boarding (which he tried out with Cyrus, it went extremely well--except for the part when Cyrus glided away from Jonah, fell off the skateboard and landed harshly in a bush. Jonah couldn't help but feel guilt to this day about it. Not handling Cyrus with extreme care as Andi and Buffy reprimanded). He'd have to make it up to him, Jonah determined.

But never had Jonah imagined getting someone something…

_Romantic_

Sure, Amber would beg Jonah to buy her everything anytime they went out when they were in a relationship, claiming it was the proof he loved her.

It’s what _boyfriends_ do, she said.

Even giving him _second chances_ when his proof of affections proved to be boring or uninspiring to her. Maybe Andi would give Jonah this second chance.

Amber was older and his FIRST girlfriend. Of course she was right. So, Jonah toughened up and listened.

 

_Amber was always right._

 

And with this confidence, Jonah approached Andi after school where they agreed to meet. It was at the park where Jonah would play private frisbee matches and on occasion the place where he tutored people to play in the past. Which Jonah couldn't remember why he gave it up a while back, since he enjoyed it so much.

Sheltered by the tree's shade, other than the sunlight sifting through leaves painting specks of white on Jonah and Andi--they stood across another. Andi was still catching her breath, jogging to their rendezvous point. For a minute, Jonah thought Andi might have bailed on him until he heard his name called as his back turned to leave. But she was here, and so was Jonah--jumpy; hyper-aware of everything around him. Counting heart beats.

“I know what you said about not getting you anything, so I've been thinking.”

Stopping to elevate the gift bag in his grip until it met Andi's eyesight, Jonah hopped a foot backward.

“I got you this.”

Straightening her posture, Andi's eyes went wide. Fingers wrapping around the gift bag's hoops. This was for her this whole time? The same gift-bag Jonah had earlier in hand this afternoon?

"A present?..for me?" Andi said, stopping mid question before resuming where she had left off.

"What's the occasion?" Andi continued to investigate, suspicious of the intent laying behind Jonah's action. After all the things Andi gave Jonah? Six months later and it wasn't even Andi's birthday? Something about this just seemed so...artificial.

"It was just, something that made me think of you." He quickly answered, elaborating more to lift any suspicions Andi might have. "I-I wasn't sure what you liked, but I hope you like it!--Aw, man. I'm sorry--I bet I sound so lame right now." Jonah immediately regretted his flimsy mess of apologies and meaningless rambling.

Nodding off in disagreement, Andi squeezed the gift bag in her hands. "No, no you don't. At all! I'm sure I'll like it--don't worry about it."

There was a promising glint in Jonah's green eyes as he grinned, cheeks buttoned with those trademark dimples. Andi's comment relaxing him to a degree, enough to ask her to open the gift Amber helped Jonah find for Andi--that soon became the gift Amber bought, after Jonah's little exhibition of clothes Amber turned down which could have been a whole rack or two.

"Are you going to open it?"

"Right now?" Andi said, as if opening the tiny gift would take longer than a few seconds. Buffy did mention she was going to text Andi--almost positive about 'the label'. And Andi was sure to bring up the topic wrapped around Buffy moving--which Buffy wasn't one hundred percent about--but plagued by it, almost as it were true.

“Yeah, open it.” Jonah replied, eager to see Andi's reaction and waiting for Amber's magic to take affect.

"I wanna see your reaction."

Andi did just as Jonah asked, eyeing the gift bag's contents, reaching inside and revealing a shirt. One Andi was sure she's seen in the Fringe before that shes ranked, grandma material. Sparing Jonah, Andi forced a smile, depositing the shirt back into the gift bag idly.

“Oh, how..um. Sweet! You shouldn’t have.” Andi took one more look into the bag, before swinging it behind her back. Never had Andi thought Jonah's taste in clothes was _THIS_ bad. Until today. Andi would have thought Jonah was trying to make fun of her sense in fashion if he hadn't been so sincere about this, lighting up certain Andi was bound to like it.

“Jonah..you know this isn't about stuff. Right?..” It was a different tone, a gentle alto that made Jonah wonder where he had gone wrong.

“I mean..when I said that, I didn't mean you had to go buy me things.”

“I know. It’s just--you were right. It's what..boyfriends do! So--”

_so--_

Jonah gasped. The nasty habit unveiling itself, freezing at the word, _'so'._ Jonah didn't know what he was saying. The sentence stuck in the roadway of his throat. Spouting whatever nonsense Amber trained him to say when they were in a relationship together.

Coming to and refocusing his vision on Andi she intervened, finishing off Jonah's sentence for him.

“No. It's what people who care do. I don't want to force you to do.. anything.”

“--You're not."

Perspiration trickled down the side of Jonah's cheek standing motionless. His energetic smile withering down, desperately trying to bring his own words into submission before beginning again-- "I care. I do care.”

It became quiet. Quiet enough to read Andi's thoughts, her round face filled with doubt.

“Thing is Jonah--I don't know if I do. But, thanks.. thank you for the present.”

Jonah stayed for a while, his mouth went dry as Andi's back turned towards him, but not before flashing an apologetic smile across the corners of her mouth. Dashing away until the park was empty with just Jonah and the breeze sweeping his bangs. No one was there, yet Jonah felt like he was in crowded room with eyes digging into him. The ground waving like a pendulum's swing--

it was happening again. Breathing dangerously uneven, Jonah staggered forward forgetting where he was. Darkness filling his vision as he compressed his view. Without permission, he began to panic.

 _Run._ his mind yelled at him. Clenching his chest, Jonah racing in whatever direction he knew would best lead him home. Bolting to his room and avoiding his parents. They couldn't see him like this--they couldn't know Jonah wasn't the perfect boy they wanted, that Amber wanted. That Jonah's _friends_ wanted.

Jonah held his phone with a death tight grip.

But that didn't mean he wanted to be alone. Jonah needed to talk to someone before he gave up, and burst into tears in his room from the pressure of the world inside him ending. Sliding down the list of names and text messages, exploring old conversations. Jonah sat on the carpet, back leaning against the frame of his bed.

None of them stuck out to him enough for Jonah to open them. Most of them were from the SpaceOtters team, a couple from Andi and a thread a while back from..

Cyrus.

Jonah clicked open the thread, re-reading some texts from the thread's history before typing up a new message, having trouble spelling. Heart still hammering hard in his chest. Jonah didn't want Cyrus to know. Jonah didn't want Cyrus to believe he wasn't _normal_. Cyrus was the only friend he had, that accepted Jonah this far just as he was. Typing up a casual response to mask the anxiety taking over him. Jonah hit send. Exhaling heavy, Jonah tipped his head back hitting the mattresses side.

"Please..answer."

 

 

* * *

 

 

Returning home was all Cyrus thought about during the remainder of his afternoon. He couldn’t talk to anyone. Not when Buffy and Andi had their own problems. Not when his parents didn’t know he liked Jonah. Not when TJ, his new friend, (who Cyrus became close with in a matter of days) didn’t know Cyrus was…

was...

Cyrus shook. He’ll pretend everything was OK. That’s what he told himself. It worked this far. Rinse Jonah’s name from his mind. Lock away the memories they had. Tell yourself he’ll never love you back. Repeat it until it became a ceremony.

Cyrus laughed weakly, exhaling a puff of air. This pain was ridiculous. It had to be selfish to hurt this much over a silly, _crush._

A crush on his best friend’s now, _boyfriend._

One of his two most favorite people in the world, LOVED each other. They were practically the people he held close to his heart each night. Cyrus hid under the covers. The risks of telling Jonah a lot higher, and a lot scarier than being a spectator in Andi and Jonah's relationship.

_As long as they’re happy_

_I'll be ok_

Cyrus swore to himself.

_Then why does it hurt..so much?_

In the beginning, Cyrus thought if he confided to Andi about his crush on Jonah, the pain would eventually go away--since she was his best friend and nothing between them should be kept secret.

But Cyrus was wrong. And as time went on, it only became worse.

All that's left was to tell..Jonah.

Bruising his lip, Cyrus only wondered how long he could wait. How long he could hide this until someone pulled the curtain down on him, shedding light on his feelings for Jonah, _TO_ Jonah. Which could only be Buffy or Andi at this point. Who Cyrus put all his faith and trust into, wouldn't say a word about it.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, reeling him out of his head. It was probably TJ, Cyrus guessed. TJ was insisting on hanging out with Cyrus for some time now, and wanted advice on how to make up with Buffy. Unlocking the screen, Cyrus leapt from his covers. The stripped blue sheets spilling off his bed.

"J-Jonah?" Cyrus spluttered, stupidly. Jonah had sent him two texts several minutes ago and he hadn’t even noticed! Cyrus retrieved the texts, frantically reading them to reply.

_**Jonah: Cyrus U awake?** _

_**Jonah: How r u?** _

How is he? God, if only Cyrus knew. It was a mixture of grief and excitement.

Grief because he’s never been so confused in his life, and excitement because Jonah just asked how CYRUS was doing right out of the blue.

Cyrus took a deep breath. Ok. Use your fingers Cyrus. Jonah probably went to sleep by now anyway (right). No less than a moment later, his phone rung.

Cyrus panicked, the slippery device evading his grasp doing anything but picking up the phone before catching it with both hands, accepting the call.

“Hello?” Cyrus answered, evening out his voice so he wouldn't sound so shaken.

“Cyrus, you alright? Did I wake you?”

He did it again, Jonah was concerned.

“N-Nah, I’m fine! I was uh--watching some er..flicks on MeTube.” It wasn't the first time Cyrus lied to cover up these _bad days_ he had. What really bothered Cyrus was that he had to lie to Jonah about them.

He just had to.

“Oh, good! Good. I mean, cool--Can I.." Jonah erased his words, rearranging his inquiry carefully, sighing into the phone's line.

"I needed to ask you something. A favor.”

Pressing phone to cheek, Cyrus squeaked. “Me?--I mean yeah, sure, Shoot.” Cyrus sat up, hugging a pillow knees to his chest. The anticipation was a dreadful flow of anxiety. Cyrus wasn't expecting Jonah to ask _Cyrus Goodman_ , himself, out of all people for a favor. What could Cyrus possibly help Jonah with, that someone else couldn't?

“B-But you can't tell Andi. Ok?”

A chord broke within Cyrus, flinching as he heard Andi's name come out from the opposite end of the line. Going dead for a solid moment.

Jonah _needs you_ Cyrus fought. And for whatever reason, asking to keep this from Andi--Cyrus surrendered to the odd request, before replying back firmly.

“OK.” Cyrus responded. “I won’t.”

 

 

X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTES: I've made time off my job so I finally have more time to improvise my fics/writing style (YEEES). I will go back to fix my errors from earlier chaps once I hit chapter 4 or 5--I wanna keep it going since I'm going to be bored out of my mind waiting for Andi Mack's newer episodes to air. (RIP)
> 
> JyrusSongRec#3: Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart/Harry Styles


	4. He'll Never Know It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's not thinking about you. He doesn't even know you exist. 
> 
> He just wants advice-- 
> 
> Advice for Andi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unbeta'd beta'd, 3@m

Jonah waited anxiously for Cyrus to text him back. By now, Jonah should have gotten a reply. It wasn’t like Cyrus to take so long-- _Maybe Cyrus was busy?_ _Had he fallen asleep?_

It wouldn’t be a surprise to Jonah this late in the afternoon. Jonah would go straight home and rest after school was over on every occasion.

The stress of class-work, coupled with being popular at times could be overwhelming..especially when putting on a mask was so hard and pretending to be strong for everyone else.

When would someone be strong for him? Jonah thought.

He had to speak, he needed to hear Cyrus.

Cyrus would show up for Jonah when he needed it most.

All the time in fact, if Jonah counted the times he pushed him and everyone away, watching them disappear, one by one.

But Cyrus wasn't one of them--

Cyrus always stayed.

_He's not ignoring you_

_Please, just relax_

Jonah drilled into his head, deciding to himself if a message had not popped up on his screen within the next minute, he would call Cyrus.

Jonah breathed in, exhaling. His hands were a shaking mess as he punched in the numbers, phone dialing Cyrus’ line. The ringing tortured Jonah the most, drawing a hand up to grip his thigh,

_waiting._

When the phone stopped ringing and someone answered, Jonah shot up from a slouch, collecting himself.

A small voice connected from the other end--and it was all Jonah needed to release the breath he had been holding.

“Cyrus? You alright? Did I wake you?”

Jonah spoke quickly, as if waiting in line to meet a celebrity. Cyrus might have been Jonah’s number one fan, he thought, but to Jonah, Cyrus was his--he appreciated Cyrus so much.

And hearing himself now, Jonah regrets how ridiculous he sounds. Of course Cyrus was alright--why wouldn’t he be?

They flew through the common casual phrases of: Hello, and, how are you? Cyrus hadn’t suspected anything out of the ordinary by the rush of it, the pounding in his chest drumming away loud in his ears distracting him. 

Cyrus Goodman wasn't about to make a fuss anytime soon either, he was talking to Jonah of all people, on the phone at a seven-thirty pm. It was a luxury in itself Cyrus didn't get to experience often. They could talk about anything, and Cyrus would be the happiest boy alive.

But Jonah didn't want to just,

_talk_

He wanted to ask for something--A  _favor._

Cyrus stiffened.

Anxiety striking fear in his vocals, submitting him to silence.

That name--the name Jonah repeated like it was the only word the dictionary had ever written and imagined, Andi's name.

The name of his best friend.

Cyrus began to understand where this was leading.

_He's not thinking about you. He doesn't even know you exist._

_He just wants advice--_

_Advice for Andi._

_Jonah Beck does NOT care about you._

_Please stop getting your hopes up. Pull yourself together, Cyrus._

The line went quiet, and Jonah was scared into thinking Cyrus might have hung up on him. Was Cyrus upset? Did he say something wrong? Closing in on himself, Jonah panicked.

Worry swarming over him before Cyrus’ sweet voice tilted Jonah back to sanity with one single heavenly word:

_‘Okay’_

Cyrus agreed to keep the secret from Andi, the both of them vowing not to say a word. That also meant, not telling Andi about this phone call entirely.

Which Cyrus was used to doing, even after confessing to both his best friend’s about the crush on Jonah-- He kept it all bundled up inside as much as possible, creating a thick barrier between him and these crazy emotions.

A wall he wouldn't dare tear down, despite yearning to shout out to the face of the earth how great this love made him feel. And how Jonah was the most beautiful, breath of light in all of God's green earth he has ever seen and known.

Jonah raced up standing to pace around his room because his body couldn't stay still any longer. All that was left was to ask Cyrus, and all Jonah needed to hear was a yes from the boy.

“Do.. you think we could see each other sometime? Maybe later this week?” Jonah suggested, playing with the hem of his shirt.

Without any hesitation, Cyrus nodded one big nod to himself spluttering a series of yes’ back to Jonah, no longer hugging the pillow and flinging it somewhere in his room bouncing to his feet ontop of the cushiony bed.

“Yes! Y-Yeah I mean, I don't see why not!”

He felt foolish, because as soon as Cyrus agreed he quickly remembered TJ booked plans with him the other day for this week.

It’s not as if Cyrus KNEW Jonah had any intentions on asking Cyrus to spend time with him.

And if he had…

Well. Cyrus would have probably almost shamefully accepted it without second thought the same way he did just a moment ago.

But with all the buzz around Andi and Jonah being a couple again (between the GHC), Cyrus didn’t think twice about distancing himself away from Jonah and Andi for a while, the moment the news dropped on him like a bombshell; scheduling to hang out with TJ and Buffy separately before this phone call ever came alive.

“Oh, wait..wait. I might have something coming up this week.. But! we can hang on the weekend?”

“Dosh! It's a date.”

“Cyrus dropped back down, abashed by the word suddenly thrown in their conversation, tailoring a look of pure fluster and shock.

“A-A what now??”

Jonah aired out a light laugh, extending his response to allow better understanding. And adding on,

“You know. A date? A hangout? Same thing. You know what I mean, Cy’.”

But Cyrus wasn't sure if he knew what Jonah meant.

He couldn't vouch for Jonah's linguistics--or the way Jonah's voice had this smooth, silk tone to it. Cyrus was convinced he needed to work on talking to Jonah better--

Save himself from something embarrassing, like thinking Jonah was asking him out on a date.

Jonah's door bellowed widely open. His father pillared in the hall checking over him, making sure Jonah would prepare for bed. And when Jonah hadn't moved from fear he might be in trouble, Mr. Beck ordered Jonah’s phone away, and barked at his son to change into his sleep wear--right now--pointing with a mean finger.

“Come on, Jonah.” Mr. Beck drove his hands on his hips, with a solid expression.

“Stop talking to your girlfriend and get off the phone. Your mother expects you to be up early in the morning, tomorrow.” He chastised, impatiently. 

Jonah squared his shoulders, his face drained of all color because he carelessly forgot about the new curfew his parents set up for him, the schedule he used for waking up and going to bed--gone and replaced with an much more stricter one. Which changed since his mother had a new job, that required her to be up more early in the morning before the sun rose.

Jonah tried to hide his phone from his father, concealing it from his view by throwing his hands behind his back, but it was too late.

“I-I gotta go! See you tomorrow?” Jonah whispered in a breath of panic inching toward his dresser, using one hand to dig through folded clothes and searching for some PJ's, his phone in the other.

“I wish,” Cyrus muttered. “This weekend!”

The line clicked and Jonah hung up. The last thing he heard was the closing of a drawer, or cabinet like noise--as if someone was rummaging through things. Cyrus sighed from the bottom of his heart. He didn't get to say goodbye, or wish Jonah a goodnight. It seemed like he was in a hurry, from the call itself.

And Cyrus swore, he had heard a second voice in the room calling Jonah in the background with a hard tone as if Jonah was in trouble. 

Cyrus hoped he hadn't gotten his friend in a tough spot, that would make Cyrus feel awful for himself, and for Jonah's sake.

His hand buzzed, phone still present in a palm. Waking the screen from sleep caused by temporary inactivity. A text popped up greeting Cyrus as he clicked opened the message.

Scrolling, Cyrus gave in and gushed over in laughter after he finished reading. Rolling over to his side, and lying flat on his bed sinking into the great puffy comforter. Maybe Jonah was okay after all. Maybe Cyrus was just overthinking things.

He smiled fondly at the message, re-reading it:

 **_jonah: c_ ** **_u.. CY-turday_ **

Jonah really liked using emoji's in his messages, using the _eyes emoji_ instead, to replace the word, 'see'. 

That was good because Cyrus liked using them too. He didn't want to be the only one feeling like the odd ball out, standing out too much.

Cyrus created a new draft to repond--deleting and erasing several replies before sticking with one and hitting send.

He was already feeling better, and Cyrus didn't need to watch those romantic comedy films, or sing that one love song that he often sung to uplift his spirits.

Emotionally, swallowing Jonah and Andi's relationship because Jonah still cared for him enough to manage time together, taking it a day at a time.

Cyrus closed his eyes, repeating his message with the phone pressed to heart.

**_cyrus:_ **

**_Goodnight Jonah-Hercules-Beck! See you soon._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh this took sOO much longer than I expected it to.
> 
> But it's because I accidentally deleted the whole chapter before I could post 4 and had to rewrite everything.  
> I hope it's worth the wait xo it won't let me post it all, so I'm going to have to separate it... whoops.
> 
> JyrusSongRec#4: Why, Sabrina Carpenter


	5. It's Not Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So you gonna give me your stuff?” The jock huffed, wanting to deflect the subject before he could dwell on it any longer, leaning on the swingset's post
> 
> Cyrus became stiff
> 
> His stuff just became heavier
> 
> A lot heavier than he could imagine

Bright copper leaves scattered the sidewalks dancing around as Andi Buffy and Cyrus kicked their way up to Jefferson Middle.

As the trio rambled on their walk, cars zipped by and the wind whipped their hair and clothes ruining their style in nature’s chaotic way of saying hello.

Andi center at the wheel of the conversation, going on and on about some mysterious late night text she received last night from an unknown number while tying her shoe.

Buffy listened in with a close ear, both girls unaware Cyrus was glowing, smiling like an mad-man to himself.  Andi wasn’t the only one who had a not-so-mysterious late night text. Cyrus was beaming--strung up by the things he could do and show Jonah while they spent the weekend with together.

“All it said was,” Andi scrolled down her cluttered threads before reading out for all to hear:

**_???:_ **

**_Hey. Hope u have a beautiful day tomorrow._ **

**_GN (-: !_ **

 

She looked up to Buffy and Cyrus flustered.

“I replied back, but no answer! Maybe they had the wrong number?”

“Maybe?” Buffy replied, standing beside Andi in the middle while Cyrus busied himself fixing his messy windblown hair to the left of her.

“You guys didn’t give my number out to anyone, did you??”

“Of course not!” Buffy and Cyrus unified in one loud, shout.

Their faces focused on Andi, in disapproval of the entirety of it. Swearing to their friend they would never do that without getting the green light from Andi. 

Andi felt a fiber of hope snap as finicky fingers closed the message, concealing the device in her solid blue jacket.

Andi didn’t show them the message, or tell them who she thought it might be. She just finished tying her shoe in a perfectly bunny-eared knot, stood up and dusted herself. 

Not much was said after that, Andi brought up Buffy’s worry about moving in which Buffy replied she hadn’t called her mom yet--in fear of what the truth might hold; she didn't know. 

Taking an oath she would do it later today, and put her worries to rest.

But today while she practiced alone on court after her team emptied the auditorium, Buffy thought about it more and more. Mind rewinding like clockwork, what she promised about calling her mom today. Putting all her insane energy into her solo game--each success would be for her mother. She’d make her proud, as the ball passed through the hoop. Sneakers squeaked against the floor, Buffy skidding on her heels and making a sharp twist and turn, to drop another ball satisfyingly into the basket.

That’s what she wanted to see, _improvement._

A second ball shot through the hoop, coming up in an orange blur from behind her.

“What are you doing here?” The student ranted, voice traveling in the massive gym auditorium.

She made no rush to circle around and face the person in the room. That wasn't a voice from someone she wanted to talk to. Buffy, strolled past ignoring the presence and heading towards one of the auditorium's exits. And he spoke again, this time shouting louder, baiting Buffy back to the basketball court.

“I still don't exist, huh?”

Picking it up the orange sphere from the floor, TJ aimed the ball at Buffy's back, tossing it at her shoulder and throwing up his arms violently. 

“How about now?”

The ball smacked her back with a thud, bouncing off. Very briefly her face flashed with annoyance but she didn’t want to allow TJ any gratification.

So, Buffy grinned wide, teeth and all.

“Wow, there must be a ghost in here!”

He frowned and gave a low scoff. “Really? You can't ignore me forever.”

“Watch me.” Buffy replied dryly.

“Is this how you treat everyone you compete with? Even kids like, Marty?”

“Don’t--talk about him. You have no right to talk about people you don’t even know, or CARE about, TJ.” 

Buffy snapped, TJ had some nerve. Playing spokesperson for team-members he hadn't even second glance at!

“Right, like you don’t do that with me.”

“Oh, I know who you are,” Buffy pointed her meanest gaze towards the jock’s direction, retrieving her ball from the floor. 

“You’re toxic TJ Kippen.”

He gave a big huff, defensively, chest puffing up. “How am I the toxic one?” 

TJ watched Buffy as she tried to intimidate him with fire in her eyes, folding his arms. But what Buffy didn't get was that she was just a girl, and TJ wasn't about to be afraid of her, or any other girl for that matter---anytime soon.

“Oh, I don’t know. Where should I start? The time you told me I can’t join the team because I’m a girl, or the time you promised to pass me the ball but lied to me instead? After I helped you with your homework!”

TJ turned a cheek to shake his head and laughed breathlessly. As if those things were not much big of a deal.

But they were, and they were to Buffy.

And she was fed up with trying to play mister nice guy to someone who wasn’t trying in the slightest to be kind back!

Now she was facing him, something she should have done a long time ago. Ignoring him apparently wasn't working, especially now that he was friends with Cyrus.

Which she learned at his Bar Mitzvah, when TJ approached her about the fortuneteller.

 

Not caring was easy when TJ wasn't around. 

But he kept coming back to bother her like a the strong nagging headache he was. She needed to say it, it was now or never. Buffy boxed her shoulders, closing her eyes tightly preparing to unleash her wrath upon TJ.

“I have no clue what Cyrus sees in you. I don’t care, or want to. But I would be happy moving right now, just to get away from YOU.” /p>

Buffy blasted in a fit of fury, shoving TJ and storming across the basketball court retreating to the nearest exit. She would regret confessing that later, too frustrated to bother with hiding the fact that she was vexed beyond belief.

TJ blinked, slowly unfolding his arms. Moving? Moving where? What was Buffy talking about?

“Wait, you’re..moving?”

TJ yelled at her, mentally picking at the sentence’s meaning, in a blind state of confusion; she must be joking.

“Buffy, you’re moving!..?”

With no answers, the doors slammed shut and she was gone. TJ sucked in his teeth, exposed on the gym's vast court by himself. What was she talking about?

TJ ran a contemplative hand through his hair.

There was no use opening up to Buffy right now, all she had done so far was shut him down. 

Coming to terms with the phrase, like cats and dogs was easy when they were constantly at each other's throats. And TJ wasn't really sure himself how to change that--if he could change it.

And if he did have the option to, TJ needed to talk to someone Buffy knew, someone who knew Buffy extremely well..

TJ ran off to change out of uniform. He knew where he needed to go for the answers, and it wasn't too far.

But he’d have to wait, and waiting was his least favorite game.

 

* * *

  

There were many kids like TJ that weren’t TJ, with a learning disability staying afterschool and taking extra tutoring sessions. 

There were also afterschool kids sacrificing their last afternoon hours at Jefferson for unrelated things like community service, student/parent conferences and more.

But Cyrus was here for one thing, as he faithfully promised over text a week before, with TJ.

Texting about TJ’s problems with the basketball team and TJ’s most hated thing ever in existence, beginning with four stupid letters called, m-a-t-h.

This didn’t include his tension with Buffy, but Cyrus was here for that too. And on a more serious note, Cyrus was here to support his friend, TJ.

Cyrus returned to the swingset, legs kicking forth in the air with each motion while he waited for TJ’s appointment with the school’s counselor to end. 

TJ explained to Cyrus it was something to do with TJ’s slow performance in math, later confessing he had not only an appointment but also a detention for arguing with a teacher about the teeth-grinding subject. 

Cyrus began singing his song just like many times before and like that, someone appeared to be roaming over leaves crunching in the distance, singing along, as if summoned by the enchanting lyrics.

Peeking over his shoulder, Cyrus sighed in relief.

“Oh, thank goodness! It’s just you.”

“Yup. It's just me.” Hands in pocket, TJ replied throwing himself into a swing seat and occupying the space next to his little friend.

“What’s your deal this week?”

“Oh you know, same stuff.” Cyrus shrugged. 

“And you?”

“More stuff.” TJ mimicked, enhancing the word 'stuff' in a heavy octave.

“How’d it go?” Cyrus asked with an encouraging smile, hoping TJ’s conference with the school’s counselor wasn’t as bad as TJ pictured it would be.

TJ cooly shrugged back his shoulders, putt off from the topic and not saying much about it--dropping it completely to skip a page ahead of conversation.

“You know anything about Buffy moving?”

Cyrus’ feet skid in the rubble, halting himself on the swing set. His voice shrunk, and his shoulder sank back. “Yeah, I..I do actually.”

“And..you didn’t tell me?” TJ sounded hurt. Slowing down the swing’s speed.

Where was this coming from? Had Buffy told TJ?--No, that was unlike her. 

Cyrus recoiled, fearing his swingset buddy would take this new information too personally and a little too soon.

Rushing words, an answer, something sounding less like he was blundering.

“We..we’re still figuring things out. We don’t even know if it’s for REAL or not.”

“--But I need her!”

Cyrus looked on, stunned. The words so alien falling from TJ’s mouth. TJ made the mistake of looking at Cyrus in that moment, exposing an unnaturally helpless red expression creeping up on his face.

“What! I can’t pass my math without her, geez!”

“She's not going anywhere, TJ. Me and Andi are going to solve this conundrum on our own. Pronto.”

“Well count me in on it.” Tj stood up jabbing a thumb to his chest. 

“She’s not allowed to leave yet. Not while she’s tutoring me anyway.” Stretching out his arms he nodded, hands on his hips; determined to change things.

Cyrus nodded along with him, joining TJ and rising from his seat present on the swing “Right, that’s the spirit!” adjusting the long strap on his bookbag.

Playfully, TJ clapped Cyrus’ back. TJ must have not known how athletically superior he was, forcing Cyrus into a balance test and hopping on a leg before he found proper footing and fixing himself back into the swing.

“So you gonna give me your stuff?” The jock huffed, wanting to deflect the subject before he could dwell on it any longer, leaning on the swingset's post.

Cyrus became stiff.

 

His stuff just became heavier.

 

 _A lot_ heavier than he could imagine

 

TJ slumped into his stance, cocking his head.

 

“Well? Underdog?”

 

* * *

 

_Well?_

 

 

TJ might have repeated that a few times before Cyrus finally looked away, his gaze taxing and bent toward the earth gripping the steely extensions on his swing. “You won't tell anyone?”

TJ blew a raspberry as his lips curled. “Duh, course not!”

His taller friend burst out, patient with his arms folded as Cyrus strategized a way to escape this impending discussion he wanted no part of by obvious stalling. But he couldn't, surrendering to TJ’s glance trained on him, Cyrus barely lifted his head to the Jock.

“I kinda..like someone. But..but they don’t like me back.” Cyrus forced himself to say, hurting himself hearing it and visibly wincing.

TJ’s ears perked, backing off the post. He wasn't expecting something like this to bother Cyrus.

And what did Cyrus mean they didn't like him back? Cyrus was a nice, funny, cute guy! (even someone like TJ, could see that) it should be easy for any girl to fall in love with him--

“Huh? How’d you figure that one out?”

“I-I didn’t. I’m just.” Cyrus gritted and sighed. “They already like someone.”

“Do I know them?” TJ inquired, examining his shy friend now fidgeting with his long sleeves.

“Y-You might.” Cyrus mumbled, derailing TJ any chance Cyrus could.

“Who is it?” TJ scooted closer, making Cyrus feel like he was being examined under a gigantic microscope and nudging back on his swing

“I don’t know TJ--I don’t think I want to talk about this right now.”

“--It’s that girl you’re always with, isn't it?”

Cyrus went silent, sighing again into the ground. “TJ, not now, please!”

“Okay, okay.” TJ gave Cyrus some space, with his hands up, in peaceful submission. “But when you do, you’ll come and find me, right? You can trust me.”

A lopsided smile tugged on Cyrus’s lips, shoveling up some dirt with the tip of his shoe. 

“It’s really okay to?”

With another dramatic raspberry, TJ firmly harped. “Yeah, you helped me!..A lot. Least I could do is help you.”

Cyrus’s smile grew into a full on grin. He was glad to have someone like TJ to understand, even if he didn’t know who Cyrus was in love with. “I never thought about it like that. Thanks, TJ.”

“Don’t sweat it.” Blue eyes set up to the same identical blue sky, TJ pushed himself up off the post, finalizing their conversation to return to serving his detention. “Well. Whoever they are, don't let them wait too long. Relationships don't last forever anyway.”

_He meant Andi, Cyrus._

_There wasn't any way TJ possibly knew you liked Jonah._

“Maybe..who knows?”

But apart of Cyrus wished it were true, and he hated himself for it. It was just better not to think about it at all, even if that meant just for now.

 

* * *

 

It's been a while since Jonah was forced to bed by his parents. The curfew applied until summer, and that was a long three or two months away from now. It wasn't like Jonah wasn't used to these restraints-- it was the consequences that came with them. 

After discovering his parents were arguing again, a dread grabbed onto Jonah like none ever before, wishing he could run away, somewhere safe and wait until their feud blew over. Jonah was always the first to take the hits and blows from it--being the oldest.

Never taking out their frustrations on his younger brother, never daring to argue infront of him or Jonah’s even, younger sister. Naturally, Jonah preoccupied himself. Carrying his mind away from the chaotic life his parents created, shackling him to darker thoughts, times and even worse, _anxiety._

A rendezvous with the SpaceOtters team for a future fundraiser, staying after school to volunteer, adding in community service hours--

Texting Andi.

Texting Andi, texting Andi

Jonah's phone remained unresponsive, screen blank with no notifications, no calls, no texts from his close friend, (now girlfriend) no sound, nothing.

Then it finally hit Jonah..

Andi _WAS_ ignoring him. A cloud of sadness started to rain down on him--

_was she mad?_

_Was this about the gift he gave her?_

Was this about… _that guy?_

Jonah's fingers flexed feeling himself ball his fists tight and for a split second, he saw white. Compressing his eyes so hard that his vision was jetted with vivid dots; lying to himself.

It couldn’t be about him, it couldn’t have been about _that guy_ from the Bar Mitzvah. And Jonah was not jealous.

Jonah wrapped up volunteer work early with a couple of SpaceOtters who chipped in to help him (which, was mostly just his friend Gus and a couple of girls from the team) and reserved an afternoon at the Spoon, with whomever texted him back in the big group message he sent out, finally on his way to leaving Jefferson.

It was a foolproof plan since his parents wouldn’t suspect a thing of it, calling them and explaining he had volunteer and community service hours at school. Jonah started off his long walk with his head hanging low, pocket making no sound and forcing his mouth to cave into a frown, brows curving in disappointment.

_Nothing so far._

Being earshot of a few kids chatting outside of the playground Jonah only lifted his head high catching a familiar name mentioned in a conversation, dragging his feet to stop and crane his neck to turn around.

It was the name of his good friend Cyrus, and there he was, surely, out in the open of the playground. Sporting a wonderfully v-neck striped shirt with beige canvas slacks and a soft smile laid out on Cyrus lips, the one that reminded Jonah that happiness wasn't too far away, and things weren't so bad.

Jonah’s face was illuminated as he trekked off, bouncing down the hilly patch of dirt and tripping on his way down to say hello to his friend but before he could make it over,

Jonah took a step back.

There was someone else with him--a towering, more mature looking boy. They looked like they were having a good time, laughing and smiling at eachother.

which Jonah quickly found out he didn't like, stomach going sour from the sight of it. Diving into both suspicion and dangerous curiosity Jonah edged closer trying to make out the boy’s face next to Cyrus--

And he was right--it belonged to the team’s Basketball captain. But, Jonah hadn't known much about..

What was his name..TJ?

Jonah continued surveilling TJ and Cyrus in the open with wide emerald eyes rapidly clouding with hurt, as TJ wrapped himself around Cyrus like he was the last person alive, like he was HIS own. 

Jonah’s jaw unhinged. Slower and slower, stumbling back on his feet. 

Have they always been this close? Wasn't Jonah Cyrus's...best friend? Oh, it hurt. TJ and Cyrus shared elated smiles before TJ hoisted up his belongings and swung his bag over his shoulder, trotting off.

Jonah’s whole world was being pulled out from under him as he felt heart shatter like a glass, piece by piece. Anxiety twisting around inside of him like a tornado spiraling out of control and he paled, choking back a sob.

Jonah couldn't understand what was going on--Wasn't this something he only felt with..Andi?

Motion sick to what he was feeling, Jonah was marching off in the opposite direction, with his head drawn to the floor. Emotions, evolving into something hot ire of frustration and anger. 

This was jealousy, he was jealous. Jonah wasn't sure of what, or why, but he was very, very jealous.

And he needed to leave there, now.

Cyrus waved to TJ, brown gaze following after TJ’s stalking form as he left Cyrus to himself alone again on the empty swings. TJ had an hour left in detention, he left Cyrus feeling light, Cyrus had only hoped he had left TJ feeling the same with all the problems that clung to him.

Even though TJ had no idea who Cyrus liked, he finally knew now that Cyrus did indeed like someone. And that's what brought him here, sitting on this swing. It was different than talking to Andi or Buffy, about it--Cyrus couldn't put a finger on it. But Cyrus knew he'd figure it out later _why_.

A moment later Cyrus sat up to withdraw to the bathroom to enter the school and wash his face of any sadness that may have remained as a remnant of TJ and Cyrus's conversation about the crush Cyrus had. 

Pulling away, the swing swooped out from under him. The closeby burble of students leftover on Jefferson's premises distracted Cyrus, and before he turned to look or leave, he heard a feminine voice graze past his ears asking politely 'are you ok?' in pitch of strained concern.

To this response, Cyrus squinted searching for the owner of the voice behind him, eyes connecting to a sweet brown-haired girl whose absolute focus was on what was straight infront of her, projecting a hand out as to beckon someone back.

Someone that wasn’t Cyrus, as Cyrus watched the scene unfold infront of him. Dissecting the situation, and joining next to her to reveal what was going on.

 _was someone hurt?_   He thought, already worrying and stretching out his gaze over where she was looking.

Cyrus's heart stopped when he caught an unmistakable glimpse of that someone's fleeting figure.

_Jonah!--_

_It's Jonah!_   _Is he okay?_

 _Why would she ask if he was okay?_   _What happened?_

In one desperate attempt to lure Jonah back to see what the commotion was about, Cyrus tried to shout out to him--

but before Cyrus could gather the voice inside him,

Jonah was gone.

 

 

X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xo I couldn't combine this with chpt 4 so here it is, in 5.
> 
> JyrusSongRec#5: (dare i put fools in here because..it's that good enough to be in this rec list.. SMH) 
> 
> FOOLS -Troye Sivan

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: Chapter titles are based on Jonah's thoughts (:  
> I want to post the second chapter tonight, but I can't beta read cp2 it at this hr..had to rush through 1 as well (#worklyfe) SOBS.
> 
> I make song recs for ships for fun. Feel free to send me one if you have some too! <3  
> JyrusSongRec1: Waiting/Younha


End file.
